Currently Listening Transatlanticism By Death Cab for Cutie see related

It's been like a month and a half since I've updated. It's not as if nothing has happened to me. Plenty has.

I don't think I am able to pin-point my feelings.

Or maybe I can and I just don't want to say.

I've thought about being honest with myself.

And with you too. But maybe not you.

(..........................................................)

Need. Want. Change. Next. Can't.

Sometimes, I look at the new day and think about all of its possibilities. Sometimes.

Too much.

This is a hard thing to do.

(Song that perfectly fits right now...but can't be shown.)

Oh my goodness...

"Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops..."

Only a stranger could help me now.

The two people who I expect and need for support...are not providing it. Future wife and mother is what would make them happy.

I haven't imagined my life in any other way...

(Deleted)

Currently Listening               MuSiC tHaT fItS tHiS rEoCcUrInG mOoD

...Waiting...

Expectations...always falling short

Currently Listening Want Two (CD/DVD combo) By Rufus Wainwright see related

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Like my fathers come to pass,
Seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Like my fathers come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.

I became closer to one and more distant to another.

I need new sounds, new people, new music, new days, new feelings, new emotions, new scenery. Everything...

Please make this go away...

I've never been like this before...

(Deleted)